The Perfomer

So…Valentine’s Day…

I have been dreading this day since the beginning of January. Thoughts and emotions from the past were rushing back as I began to feel overwhelmed with nostalgia. It wasn’t anything I enjoyed, I hated everything I was feeling. I could feel it taking over and I didn’t know what to do with it all. And as it got closer to February I freaked out big time. I wanted nothing to do with this holiday; I had so many expectations last year that were thrown back in my face, I had no desire to go through this year. But I got up this morning and dressed up in my Valentine’s Outfit, as I do every year. I was determined to have the best day I could.

Surprisingly when I got to 1st period I was okay with seeing all of the couples and stuff. Even my brother’s balloon bouquet and real bouquet didn’t irritate me. When I got into class I yelled “Good Morning, everyone! Isn’t it a wonderful day for love?!” in an awesome British accent. I was generally in a good mood. Second period it changed pretty drastically. I was in charge of Valentine’s Kisses at school today, our Valentine’s Grams. Anyone who knows me knows that when I am in charge of things I go into word-that-rhymes-with-stitch mode. I want everything to happen exactly how I like it, when I like it without exceptions, and if it doesn’t get done I get upset uber easily. So best believe I was yelling at everybody all day as I tried to make 154 grams and put bows on over 60 roses all before 5th period. I don’t think anyone in leadership took it personally; they know me when I want to get things done. That lasted literally until the end of the day.

To make a long post short, it turns out that me being busy all day, helped me get through it. I ended up having a lot of fun making the grams and with other stuff, which I’ll tell you about in a different post :) It was just nice to not be sad today. I got to wear my valentine antennas and be happy (when I wasn’t yelling and being mean, of course).

Overall February 14, 2012 was a love-filled day. No depression. No anger. Just happiness. It was really nice. I’m glad I didn’t sabotage it.